So Ben called and said that due to a combination of situations he won’t be able to come down my way this week.

:(

As much as I was looking forward to seeing my best friend again I understood where he was coming from and it’s not the end because he’s planning to come down when things ease up around January (yes!)

I knew he was struggling of late to pick up the pieces and get parts of his life in some order. Often times he is quite hard on himself. Today was no exception and I made sure he understood that in no way is he letting me down. I don’t let a lot of people know what’s going on in my head and heart a lot not because I’ve got trust issues. Indeed I do let specific people in because they are reliable and trustworthy. But I know how fragile I can be too and I’d like to know that the people who get to see the good and the bad of me will try their best to treat it the way God is: without judgement, plenty of patience and understanding and abounding love. All of which Ben is able to do without being aware of it.

What did warm my heart was hearing him say that he loved me. Sure I already believe it, sure he already knows and hears it from me, yes he’s written it many times and acts as he does. But hey, it takes a lot of courage to admit it with that much sincerity. He doesn’t throw words like that around, though he is often encouraging and sincere.

It just made me happy to hear. I’m not insecure of our friendship and this only confirmed it even more. He is such a sweetheart.

Granted we won’t get to see “Love Never Dies” together but we’ll still make our own fun when he gets here later, as we always do: hitting vintage record and clothes shops and second-hand bookstores :) at least here in Melbourne we’ll have plenty more places to spend hours having coffee and enjoying each other’s company…